Lost without you
by SariaSunshine
Summary: KakaIru fic. Warnings : Yaoi, angsty, death, blood.


**Lost without you**

I am running. Running through the forest. Faster, faster, to get away. Away? Away from what? Away from my feelings? Away from my love? My love… are you hurt? Where are you? Are you O.K? Am I O.K? Why am I alone? Why aren't you with me? Yes… of cours. We were attacked. But why? Why aren't you with me? Oh… now I remember.

_**Flashback**_

_You told me to run. I asked why. You told me to get away. Why? I asked. You told me you didn't love me anymore. You told me you hated me. Why? I asked and I felt tears started running down my face. Why? I screamed at you. You just looked at me and told me again to run. Because you felt sick each time you looked at me. The last thing I remember, is that I was running. Fast, fast through the forest…_

'Stop!' I can hear a voice in my head screaming. 'Go back!' Why? Why should I? You hate me. You made it clare that I am not good enough for you. Why? Why aren't good enough? Am I too weak? Yes I am. I am too weak! That's why you hate me.

'No!' The voice in my head are screaming again.

"Oh shut up!" I can hear myself scream. Suddenly I feel like I have to stop. I don't know why. Why should I? Is it something wrong with me? Am I wounded? No I don't feel any pain. Then why do I feel like I have to stop? Why am I standing still? You told me to run. Am I crying? Yes I am crying. Why am I crying? Because of you? Yes… because of you.

I can feel your arms around me. Why? You hate me! I can hear your voice calling my name. '_Iruka… you are so naive. Don't you get it?' _What is that suppose to mean?I turn around to face you, but it's no one behind me. Why aren't you here? Should I go back? Back to you? No! I can't you hate me, then why am I going back to you? So many question running through my mind. Why?!

_I feel weak. _

_I feel sick. _

_I feel lonely._

All this because of you. My legs won't move anymore. Why? Why can't I move my legs anymore? Down. I look down on the ground, and I see you. You are covered in blood. Why are you covered in blood? You are looking at me. Why are you looking at me? You open your mouth to speak. Your voice are weak. '_Iruka darling… why did you come back?' _

_"_I… I don't know". I can hear myself say.

'_I don't hate you Iruka… I just said I hated you because I didn't wanted you to be hurt… I love you Iruka'. _Your face is paler than normal. Why?

"Don't tell me you are planning to leave me. Are you O.K?" I ask you. You look at me, and smile.

'_Yes, each time I look at you… I am O.K'. _You smile at me. I can see you are hurt. I can see blood coming from your stomach. Why are bleeding? Now your body is shaking.

"No! Don't you dare leave me!" I am screaming to you. You are still smiling. Your hand are gently touching my cheek.

'_Sorry love… I… love… you'. _Your body stop shaking. I grab your hand which is falling down. I can see your chest stop moving. I can see your not breathing.

"Are you dead? No you are just playing right?" I laugh. No response. "Kakashi? Love? Please stop this game! Stop it! Wake up!" I am screaming, I am crying. "I can't live without you! Come back to me! I love you! Kakashi! Come back!" I am sobbing. I feel a hand touching my cheek. "Is it you Kakashi?" I ask. My eyes are close. Scared of if I open them you will be gone. Gone forever. I feel you gently kiss my lips.

'_I love you Iruka… I will always love you'. _Then everything is silent. I open my eyes. I see nothing. Just your body which is lying in front of me. Your dead body. I gently lie your hand down. Your hands are cold. I kiss your blue lips. I am scared of hurting you. Even though you are dead. Dead because of me. Because I was running away. Because I was to weak. Because I thought you hated me. I feel sick. I feel like I don't have any reason to live. Why should I live? Now you are gone, and I am still here. Why am I still here? I don't deserve to be here. I should have died, not you. Because you deserve to live, not me. I take out a kunai.

"No reason to live… " I say. And then… it's over.

_

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Wel... what du you think? Please tell me if you find any error. And please be gentle, this is my first Naruto fic._

Yeah I know my english suck, but I'm working on that

Sara


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